Father and tintumon were standing in front of the tiger’s cage at the zoo.
The father was explaining how ferocious and strong tigers are, and
tintumon was taking it all in with a serious expression.
"Dad,” tinumon said finally, “if the tiger got out of his cage and ate you
up …”
“Yes, son?” the father said expectantly.
“What bus should I take home?” tinumon finished.

Tintu mon ulpede 30 peru sabarimallakku poyi.
avide vechu thirakkil Tintu Mon koottam thetti ottakkayi.Tintu mon
announcement counteril chennu: “Ente koode vanna 29 pere kaanaanilla…! !”
Ithu ketta oraal: ” 29 pere kaananille….? ?
Tintu Mon: ” pinne njaan enthu parayanam…enne kaanaanilla ennu
parayanoo….?? ?”

Sir : Entha late aayathu..
Tintu : Nadannu varan vaiki sir.
Sir : Bussil vannoode??
Tintu : Athu sir nte molodu paranjaal kelkkande...

English sir to students: Give some examples using 'day' ?.
Gopi : Annual day
Thomaskutty : Birthday.
Tintumon : "Enthuvaaday"

Sir:kanjikal ennu paranjal ara?

Tintu:100 msg ayachittum 1 reply polum cheyatha aal

Sir: very good, oru example para

Tintu: sarinte mol

keralaKafe
Police:Helmet evide 

Tintumon:Sir,Athu.

Police:Enthada ninnu parungunnathu.

Tintu:Njan stationilek varikayayirunnu,Helmet Kallan kondu poyi

Tintumonte ammumma marichu poi. Achan karanjukond:Amme, ennekudi kondu pokayirunnile? Bakiyullavar: Ammumme, njangale kudi kondu povayirunnille? Tintumon: Ellavarayum kond pokan "kizhavi " yentha tata sumo yilano poyath?

TIN2 MONE KANMANILLA': velutha niram,karutha mudi, 3 adi pokkam, 4 1/2 adi nakku, vayassu-5 prayathinokkatha samsaram,malayalam,hindi,tamil enni bhashak alil nannayi theri vilikum.kandu kittunnavar dayavai mind cheyyathe pokuka.njangal samadanathode jeevichote!! by parent's..@ Appan: Mone nine Pallilachan aakamenu njan nercha nernitundu. Tintu : Chathichallo appa, Ente mone pallilachan aakamennu njanum nernirikkuva Dundumon: "aanayanno valudh atho urumbo? Tintumon: "angane veruthe parayan pattilla. Date of birth nokkanam.!"

Sir & Tintumon Sir: Entha late aayathu? Tintumon: Nadannu varaan late ayi sir. Sir: Bussil vannoode?  Tintumon: Athu sirintae molodu paranjal kelkkandae?

Tintumon & Auto Driver
Tintumon auto driverodu: town vare pokumo?


driver: pokum...


Tintumon: ennal thirichu varumbol enikku oru bread vaangichondu varumo??

Tintumon & Father

Kallushapil ninum irangivarunna Tintumonodu 
achan:Ithu nallathano mone?

Tintumon:Evide theere mosama acha namuku vere shapil kayaram.

Tintumon & Girl

Road arikil nilkunna girl'nod Tintumon:Entha ivide nilkunnathu?

GIRL:Bus kayaruvana.

Tintmon:Ennal Roadinte naduvil nilkkoo,sharikk kayarate.

Tintumon Jokes
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നമ്മുടെ നാട്ടില് ഹംസ ഓരു കുട്ടിയെ 1 ാം ക്ളാസില്‍ സ്കൂളില്‍ ചേര്‍ത്തു 10 ദിവസം പോയപ്പോളേക്കം അവന് TB അസുഖം വന്നു പിന്നെ കുറേ കാലം ചികില്‍സയിയില്‍ ആയിരുന്നു പിന്നെ അവര്‍ അവനെ അടുത്ത കൊല്ലം വീണ്ടും 1 ാം ക്ളാസില്‍ ചേര്‍ക്കാന്‍ കൊണ്ടു പോയി അപ്പോള്‍ മാഷ് പറഞ്ഞു അവന്‍ 2 ാം ക്ളാസിലേക്ക് ജയിച്ചു എന്ന് soman 9544441114

നമ്മുടെ നാട്ടില് ഹംസ ഓരു കുട്ടിയെ 1 ാം ക്ളാസില്‍ സ്കൂളില്‍ ചേര്‍ത്തു 10 ദിവസം പോയപ്പോളേക്കം അവന് TB അസുഖം വന്നു പിന്നെ കുറേ കാലം ചികില്‍സയിയില്‍ ആയിരുന്നു പിന്നെ അവര്‍ അവനെ അടുത്ത കൊല്ലം വീണ്ടും 1 ാം ക്ളാസില്‍ ചേര്‍ക്കാന്‍ കൊണ്ടു പോയി അപ്പോള്‍ മാഷ് പറഞ്ഞു അവന്‍ 2 ാം ക്ളാസിലേക്ക് ജയിച്ചു എന്ന് soman 9544441114

ബെന്‍സ് കാറില്‍ പോകുന്ന ഓരാളോട് ബൈക്കില്‍ പോകുന്ന ഓരാള്‍ ഓവര്‍ടേക്ക് ചെയ്ത് വന്ന് ചോദിച്ചു നീ ഈ ബൈക്ക് ഓടിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ടോ എന്ന് അപ്പോള്‍ അയാള്‍ മന്നസ്സില്‍ വിചാരിച്ചു ഈ കാറില്‍ പോകുന്ന എന്നോടാ അവന്‍ ബൈക്ക് ഓടിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ടോ എന്ന് ചോദിക്കുന്നത് . പിന്നെയും അയാള്‍ ഓവര്‍ടേക്ക് ചെയ്ത് വന്ന് ചോദിച്ചു നീ ഈ ബൈക്ക് കണ്ടിട്ടുണ്ടോ എന്ന് അങ്ങനെ കുറെ പ്രാവശ്യം വന്നുകൊണ്ടേ ഇരുന്നു പിന്നെ കുറച്ച് കഴിഞ്ഞപ്പോള്‍ മുമ്പില്‍ ആള്‍കൂട്ടം കാര്‍ നിറുത്തി ഇറങ്ങി ചെന്നപ്പോള്‍ ബൈക്ക് മറിഞ്ഞ് അവന്‍ ചോരയില്‍ കുളിച്ച് കിടക്കുന്നു . കാറിലുള്ള ആളെ കണ്ടപ്പോള്‍ ബൈക്കു കാരന്‍ ചോദിച്ചു എടാ നിന്നോടല്ലേ ഞാന്‍ ചോദിച്ചത് നീ ബൈക്ക് ഓടിച്ചിട്ടുണ്ടോ എന്ന് എനിക്ക് ഈ ബൈക്ക് ഓഫ് ചെയ്യാന്‍ അറിയാത്തത് കൊണ്ടായിരുന്നെടാാാ soman 9544441114

Tintumon:Customercare alle?ente aniyan tittu sim card vizhughi....
Girl:athinu Nyangalenthu venam
Tintumon:Avan samsarikunund.Paisa povo????

Tintu in ksrtc bus.... 
kayamkulam ethjiyappol tintumon :-ernakulam ethiyo? 
conductor:-illa cherthala ethiyappol 
tintumon:- ernakulam ethiyo? 
conductor:-(deshyathode paranyu) ethumbhol parayam. 
bus ernakulam vittu thrissur ethi. 
conductor tintuvine villikkan marannu.... 
tintumon:-ernakulam anno???? 
conductor:-ayyo marannu poyi ernakulam kazhinyu. 
yathrakar bhahalam kooti....bus ernakulathekku thirichu 
conductor :-mone ernakulam ethi.... 
tintumon:-(chaadi eneettu bag thurannu bread eduthu kazhichukond) ernakulam ethumbhol kazhikkan amma paranyatha....


Tintumon's discovery-
Chemical name of TOILET?
Ans:-Calcium+Copper+Sulphur
(Ca+Cu+S)=CACUS
Chemistryil Tintu Puliya
Tintumon got sms from pinkimol:I hate you.
Tintumon replied:I hate U,V,W,X,Y,Z.Tintumonoda Kali.

Tintumon Pennu Kanan Poyi;
Tintu: Nee Eathu Vare Padichu
Girl:B.sc 2nd year,Chetano.?
Tintu:SSLC 4th year

Nilathu sugar veenapol tintuvinde achan:Mone velakari januvine ingottu viliche.
Tintu:Janu achan vilikunnu.
Janu:entha?
Tintu:Parjara yadikana.

Teacher:Ningal oru 3 nila ketidathil nilkukayanenu vicharikyu.Petenu ketedathinu thee pidichu.Ningal enthu cheyum?
Tintumon:Nyan apoaa vijaram nirthum....!

Tintumon: thande mole ebiku ketichu tharamo?
Father:shariyavilla,aval padichodirikukaya
Tintumon: nyan 1 hour kazhinyu varaam.padichu kazhinyaal nadathaalo....

TEACHER : “A” group blood ullavarkku “A” groupukaarude blood mathrame sweekarikkavu
“B” group blood ullavarkku “B” groupukaarude blood maathrame sweekarikkaavu
Ellavarude bloodum sweekarikkaavunnathu aarkkanu?
TINTUMON : kothukukalkku 

Teacher: wat’s d difference between bus and cycle??
Tintumon:Bus varum pokum bt bus stand avide thanne kaanum….
cycleum varum pokum but cycle standum kude pokum!!!! 

Teacher: Tintumon aravanannu agraham?
Tintumon: Enniku achanea pole pilot avanam
Teacher: Tintumontea achan pilot aanoo?
Tintumon: Alla achanum pilot akaanayirunnu agraham 

A for Apple
B for Big Apple
C for Cheriya Apple
D for Double Apple
E for Ettavum kunji Apple
F for First parenjille aa Apple 

Achen:-Result
enghane udu?
Tintumon:-fail ayi.
Achan:-Iny nee enne
ahan ennu
velekanda.
Tintumon:-athinu
ithu exam result
aanu,DNA testinte
result alla. 

Teacher:-Indiayile pradhanam ayi
randu nadhigal undu.(1)ganga (2)yamuna.
Appol pakistaniloo?
Tintumon:Khadijayum
Jamilayum.

Tintu in medical shop:-Give me one ten cornerrice like.
Kadakkaran:-enthus?
Tintu:-oh english ariyilla alle.Dashamoolarishtam thado

Tintumon Maranapettu....Nalle sms harthal....Miss calukale harthalil ninum ozhivakiyatnd.Nikathan pattathavivad-Airtel,smslokathin theera nashtam-idea, tintumonde padamulla 1rupayude coupon irakum-Bsnl Enik swantham mone pole ayirunnu-sardarji,Oru nikarital enikum tintumonepole akam. 

Teacher: karayilum, vallathilum jeevikkunna 5jeevikalude peru parayu?
Tintumon: 2 aama, 3 thavala


Dundumol:current poyi,fan idatte
tin2mon:venda,mezhukuthiri anayum.....



Yathrakaran to tintumon : nnku ee penangaleyokkey ninte pengalmarayi kandudey. 
Tintu: shramikanjattu alla ,athu ente achan oru cheethaperavum ennu vicharichatta.......


Teacher : 2010 commonwealth games kondu namukku enthu gunam undaayi……….?
Tintumon : adutha varsham october 3nam theeyathi schoolinu avathi aayirikkum teacherey……….?
Teacher : athengane tintu……..?
Tintumon : COMMON WEALTH SHAME DAY…….!!!!!


Sasi-” neeyanalle tintumon…nee valiya hero aanennu kettu…ee palari vattam sasi oru idi idichal nee
chammandhi aayi pogum”

Tintumon-” mone sasi…ninne njan manasu vachonnu idichal pinne ninne GOOGLE il search cheydhal
polum kittilla…nee ivide pudhiya aala alle…adhu konda ninakku ariyathadhu….. ”


Doctor:”ninakkariyo???ella fruitinte tholiyilum vitamins und…..ninakkethu fruit aanishtam??”
Tintu:”Thenga”


Tintumon : Acho njan kanakku pareeksha kazhinju varikaya, enikku kumbasaarikkanam.!
Achan : Pareekshakku nee copy adicho mone?

Tintumon : Illacho, thettu cheythal kumbasaarikkanam ennalle achan parayarullath…Njan cheytha kanakku muzhuvanum tettaa…!

Teacher : Ithrayum neram njan padippichathil ninnum enthu manassilaayi?
Tintumon : Vaikunneram theerchayaayum tutionu pokanamennu manassilaayi.!!!


Tintumon: ninte text bookukal kanathayi alle?
Dundumol: aaru paranju?
Tintumon: nee innu ravile msg ayachille.. “some text missing” ennu!!


Tintu mon:hello my son today donot came to school because he have fever
techer:who are talking??
Tintumon:”MY FATHER


Tintumonte veettil kallan keri. Ithu kanda
Tintumon: Ente bagum bookum koodi kondu poda, illenkil njan ellavareyum vilichunarthum


Tintumon: Oduvil snehicha pennum enne chadichu da..
Friend: Enth patti
Tintumon: Veruthe vilichatha.. Irangi ponnu


Teacher: Namukku motta tharunna ethenkilum 4 jeevikalude peru parayu?
Tintumon jumped and said: Physics miss English miss Maths miss Social miss!!


Father: Nee aa kuttiye nokki padikkeda, Ella examilum avala First.
Tintumon: Daily avale nokkiyaacha ella subjectilum 8 nilayil pottiyadu. Iniyum achan nirbandhikkarutu.


Tintumon ambalathil vazhipad counter Q ill….
Munnile uncle: Shambhu, Thiruvatira, paalpayasam.
Tintumon: Hans, break dance, chicken biriyani…


Tintumonte Achan: Ninte progress report evideyada ?
Tintumon: Athu njan Ramuvinu koduthu.
Achan: Athenthinada ?
Tintumon: Avanu avante achane pedippickana

Oru divasam tintu mon roadil koodi pokayirunnu. Appol oru pallil achan :nee evide povuka kutti
Tintu : Kallu Shappil .
Appol achan : tintu nee kallu kudikkyaruthu .atu ninte healthinu doshama .
Tintu : Ayyo Jan shappil kudikkyan povuka alla , jan innalle nightil avide marannu vecha ente book edukkan pokua .
Achan : Aa 

tintu jokes

Daily Needs :
Food- ..........▀ 5%
Water- ........▀ 1%
Sleep-......... . ▀ 4%
facebook-....▀▀▀▀▀ 90%
Hit'like'if you agree
We are now ruled by

Amma in South; (Jayalalitha)
Didi in East;(Mamata Banerjee)
Behenji in North; (Mayawati)
Aunty in the Capital;(Sheila Dikshit)
Madam in Center; (Sonia)
Nani on top (the president)
& "Wife" At Home

And yet people say.. It's a Man's World!!!!!


Tintumon’s First Interview
Interviewer: “Tell me opposite words.. COOL”
Tintumon: “Hot”
Interviewer: Girl
Tintumon: “Boy”
Int: ” India ”
Tintu: ” Pakistan ”
Int: “Good Keep it up”
Tintumon: “Bad Put it down”
Int: “Stop It”
Tintumon: “Start that”
Int: “Idiot Get Out”
Tintumon: “Clever Come in”
Int: “Oh my God”
Tintumon: “Oh your devil”
Int: “I rejected You”
Tintumon: “You appointed Me” 

Teacher: If you are in moon, what will be your weight
a) increase
b)decrease
c) no change
d) can not be predicted…
Tintumon: Decrease
Teacher: why
Tintumon: you will not get good food!!!




 The teacher asks tintumon if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My daddy taught me.”
“Can you tell me what comes after three?”
“Four”
“What comes after six?”
“Seven”
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?”
“A jack,” answers tintumon…


Tintumon: I was feeling so sleepy this morning that I tossed a coin to decide whether I should attend class or go back to bed.
Dundumon: So, what did you finally do?
Tintumon: I had to toss 10 times before I could finally go back to bed.


T



Dundumon : Why did you sleep with a scale ?
Tintumon : Because , I want to measure how long I have slept !!!!!!!


Tintumon is following Pinkymol …….
Pinkymol : Don't follow me . My Mother is coming behind you .
Tintumon : Don't worry . My Father is following her !!!!!!!



Tintumon and Dundumon were beggars .
Tintumon : I had a grand dinner at Taj hotel yesterday .
Dundumon : How ???
Tintumon : Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday . I went to Taj hotel and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/- 
and enjoyed the dinner . When the bill came , I said , I had no money . 
The hotel manager called the police man and handed over me to him . I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow 
and he set me free.