funny jokes

RACIST (view at your own expense): What do you call four Mexicans, a Chinese guy, and two black guys? An outdoor sprinkler system! >spick spick spick spick CHIN ***** *****< 

DUMB BLONDE: A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde have just robbed a bank. The police are are right on their tails, but the redhead finds three potato sacks to hide in. A cop walks up to the potato sack the redhead is hiding in and taps it. The redhead goes "Woof." The police officer thinks there's a dog inside so he proceeds the the brunette's sack. He taps it and the brunette says "Meow." The office concludes it's a cat, so he walks up to the last sack. He taps it and the blonde mutters "Potato." 

LITTLE JOHNNY: One day in class, the teacher asked little Johnny what the capital of Jamaica was. Little Johnny replied that there couldn't be a capital because all of the Carribbean Islands are territories. The teacher shook her head and stated "Johnny, Jamaica isn't a territory, it's its own country. The answer was 'Kingston,' but I like your thinking." So Johnny said "Ok teacher, let me test you. I have my hand in my pocket, and it's feeling something hard with a head. What is it?" Disgusted, the teacher cried out, "Johnny that's sick!" Johnny smirked and said "The answer was a quarter, but I like your thinking." 

POOR GUY: A man and his wife are waken one night by glass breaking. An escaped prisoner storms into their bedroom and ties up the two of them: the husband to a chair, the wife to the bed. The man leans over the wife, talks with her, and goes into the adjacent bathroom. The husband whispers to his wife, "Listen, he probably wants sex, but just give it to him because he's dangerous. If you don't, he could kill us both. Be strong honey, I love you." The wife starts to giggle and replies, "Oh, don't worry about me. He just told me that he thought you were cute and asked if we had any vaseline in the bathroom. I told him it was on the top shelf. Be strong honey, I love you." 

DEAD BABY: What's the difference between a fancy sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a fancy sports car in my garage. 

TIGER WOODS: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Santa stops after three ho's. 

GAY: What do gay horses eat? Heeey!!! (say it like a queer and flap your wrist as you say it) 

MICHAEL JACKSON: Why did Michael Jackson go to K-Mart? Because he heard little boys' pants were half off.